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What Causes OverCommitting and How to Solve It
That is one of the things I have heard and read is that people-pleasing causes overcommitting. I’ve also read that it is caused by being afraid to say NO. On the surface, these seem like believable causes, and perhaps the only causes.
I still struggle with overcommitting myself on a regular basis. When I was younger, it was about people-pleasing and being afraid to say no.
However, as I’ve gotten older, that hasn’t felt as true for me anymore. So, I just blamed it on being an old habit and wanting to help others. Unfortunately, those beliefs are linked to other more harmful beliefs, like… overcommitting is bad… being a people pleaser is bad… I am bad… or at least there is something “wrong” with me.
And when you have those beliefs tagging along for a ride, this set’s up a whole chain reaction of negative self-talk. “Why do you always do that?” “Why can’t you just say no?” “You are really bad at managing your time!” “You need to set better boundaries!” And the list goes on.
So, over the years I have tried to do lists, planners, project management systems, reminders, tapping, affirmations, and more. You name it, I have probably tried it! They have all helped.
Yet, it has always felt like there was something else behind over-committing myself, that I just couldn’t put my finger on.
Well, this past week, it was brought to my attention that I was falling into that trap again. So, I bought a new planner and started reading the latest Time-Management articles.
I also did something different. I sat down to connect with my guide and do some channelled writing, my Connected Spirit Soul Writing.
As it turns out, what I received came as a big Ah-ha moment for me, with some humor added in.
Overcommitting also has a spiritual cause.
Here is what my guides shared about this…
Now, time is what your struggle with at this time and it is because you sense the vastness or the “all as one” essence of it. That there is NO time. It is infinite and all NOW at once. So, there are no limits to your hours or what you can do.
However, you forget that you are physical and you chose physical to experience limitations and the “planning” you so love as humans.
The magic will happen when you follow your energy, which is your joy and expansiveness and which allows “Time-Bending” in your world.
However, as beings in bodies, this is only sustainable for short periods of time, not for 24 hours in a day.
So… how to work with this when not all things bring that “time-bending” alignment?
This is where you can use your Divine energy as laser focus.
Prepare your lists to clear your mind of clutter and release the stress internally of trying to remember. Then select and focus for your “in the zone” period. Perhaps only one hour at a time.
That is all my Telose.
~ My Guides
Why I wanted to share this channeling with you…
After learning this, it took away the feeling of being wrong, bad, or broken. Instead, it allowed me to quit beating myself up and accept that this wasn’t something that needed to be FIXED. Rather, it was just something I needed to learn how to work with, in a new way.
I hope when you read this you felt some relief too.
Of course, that still leaves the challenge of how to work in this world when we are not of this world. Right?
A Time Budget Can Solve Overcommitting
One good way to remind yourself that there are only 24 hours in a day, is to create a time budget.
I had never thought of that until I found a blog post about it when I was searching for time management tips. These two articles explain it the best.
A Formula to Stop You from Overcommitting Your Time by Elizabeth Grace Saunders
A Powerful Time Management Strategy – The Time Budget by Sid Savara
The idea is that there are only 168 hours in a week and that time is precious and limited.
By creating a budget for your time, just like you create a budget for your money, you can work towards your goals easier, as well as, see where time is being misused. Just like a money budget, a time budget requires that you become more aware and conscious of how you are currently spending your time and how you want to spend your time. The gift of becoming more aware is that you then have the power to make better decisions that actively move you towards your goals.
This is the one I created for myself, so it is geared towards the various time categories that I juggle with being an online entrepreneur, spiritual being, mother, and wife. I’ve added a link below, so you can download a copy for yourself.
How to Create a Time Budget
Step 1: Create your list of activities and responsibilities.
Creating a time budget is pretty easy, but does require some thought. The first step is to create a list of all the things you do. Many activities are repetitive. You will have daily activities, weekly activities, monthly activities and even yearly activities. All of them should be added to your master list for future use.
However, if you are like me, most of your planning is done in daily, weekly, and monthly increments for the most part. And if you are trying to get a handle on your time quickly, the focus should be on a budget for the week.
Step 2: Add your activities and time estimates to your worksheet.
Add your Daily & Weekly activities from your master list to your Time Budget worksheet and estimate the time you need to spend on each activity. You can choose to estimate things in minutes or you can choose to estimate them in hours.
If you are estimating in hours, use 15-minute increments. Many of your activities won’t require an hour to do them and that is valuable time that can be allocated to some other activity. 🙂
Step 3: Now schedule those activities on your calendar!
When you have all your time allocated on your worksheet, this is where the rubber meets the road. Now, it is time to actually schedule it on your calendar.
Once it is on your calendar you have an action plan to follow!
AND… since you made sure these activities fit into your weekly budget, you won’t be overcommitted by trying to complete 36 hours of work in a 24-hour day, for example. You will probably even find that you have more time available than you thought! (Ah! More time for YOU!)
I have found using a time budget to be extremely helpful both personally and in my business. It has helped me be more realistic in my time estimates and more importantly, it showed me where I struggle with distractions.
Free Connected Spirit Time Budget Template
You can download the Time Budget Template I’ve created for you, below. It includes a worksheet for your budget and another tab for your Actual Time vs your budgeted time. It automatically calculates where you are over or under budget. That way you can easily see where you need to reallocate your time.
I would love to hear about your experiences using a Time Budget. Was it helpful? How did it help you find more time in your day? Leave me a comment below.